What happens when your partner, associate, teammate, friend is transferring weight, responsibility and their emotional debris on you? You may start to feel like there is a straw in you allowing that peson so suck the energy out of you. But there are ways to identify and adapt to these kinds of challenges. As long as we interact with people, we are going to face someone at some point who psychologically or emotionally leans on us.
People who lean are often dissatisfied with what they have or who they are and constantly console themselves. They can live in the existential, giving time to other worldly happenings, and concepts of unity and limitlessness; which serves them rather than others. They use methods such as these for detachment, to break away. They might also use you as a means to lift them up. But in the process of leaning, they trash their emotional balance. They exist at the fine edge of that balance and their ability to control. They may control by giving orders, unwanted advice or applying their feelings and energy into your life. But one adverse condition- a casual remark, a small setback and their energy collapses.
As they leaned psychologically and emotionally, they fall psychologically and emotionally flat on their faces. To avoid being this individual we must learn to cultivate and consolidate our power, by disciplining ourselves not to lean. When you lean psychologically or emotionally on people or toward them, it's a sure sign of insecurity. It makes others feel uncomfortable. People can resent the weight you're laying on them, and they will react by denying you. They won't like your feeding off their energy, or your self indulgence for that matter. Consciously and subliminally, they sense the weakness your leaning creates. It robs them of energy and crowds them; they have to buy into your needs and emotions when they would prefer to concentrate on their own. And this is the loss of personal power. When we over reach our boundaries, outside the natural state of what is ideal and lean into others to direct, order, request or control. Usually the order is thought, word, action. But in consciousness the behavior manifests and in consciousness it must be corrected.
Most people talk too much, and what they do say is often just noise, irrelevant gibberish designed to keep themselves entertained. To consolidate power learn to become aware of your need to talk. Make it a discipline not to discuss your personal details and judgments with others. A powerful person does not waste words. Even if they wish to give constructive criticism they choose their words wisely, knowing the consequences of interference. When we speak too soon, and believe we know best we are demonstrating our need to be validated, to feel. The feeling is dependent on the exchange of energy coming back from the other person. Again, this is leaning.
Trying to talk above people is trying to make them feel inferior, pushing yourself onto them. And we get a sense of correctness and find our place from telling others what we believe we know. This is a horrible way to find any sense of self and is anti life in essence. We find placement through what we identify as improper or wrong in others. Whether in faith, words or action, when we place our dominant energy on others to steer (control) what we believe is wrong, we are actually showing how desperate we are and are energetically hooking up to them. Once we get enough feedback, and get our fill we find our sense of self, in the distorted negative spacing that is the illusion of better or worse between two people. When we dominate with words, and try to talk above others we are actually being combative. Sages don't need to combat. You don't need to feel anything about yourself by seeing yourself as right or opposite from anyone or anything.
The Tao says, " To speak when one does not know is a disease." If you think about this with a view of health that is truly wholistic you will understand what the sages meant. Tao also teaches that " Those who know do not speak; those who speak do not know." There is a difference between conceptual knowledge and living wisdom. While one person may talk while losing and needing energy, you can maintain a quiet and joyful mind maintaining integrity by not letting the howling wind outside of you blow out the bright flame within you. True knowing is demonstrated by action, not by speaking. Real power is silent, patient as it allows things to fall into place exactly as they are knowing the purpose of what is. When we can't accept what is we direct, we suggest, we control because we cannot deal with uncertainty. And all of this, this kind of talk and behavior is purely out of ego. People who talk out of ego do so to hear themselves speak. They are not actually interested in what you have to say. This can be quickly proven because anything you say will be redirected against you as if you know nothing of what you speak. But do not speak, reserve your power.
Silent talking is a masterful art and comes when one learns to listen. It is learning to silence the mind and take in the experience beyond the duality our mind creates or the leaning our emotions desire. We can learn to accept exactly what is and give our energy to support that process. Anything less than this is a form of vampirism. We can learn to cultivate a silent mind, creating a solid stance for ourselves. This is like creating a technique. If we do not have a solid stance, any movement we make beyond that is weak. When we give our energy to others consciouly, it is not a means of outdoing, subduing the individual but for uplifting them. Only after the issue of technique is addressed can the true person emerge. Long cultivation is necessary in order to become honest and aware in every interaction. But eventually, all methods are absorbed. Then technique falls away, leaving the true person- present at his or her most human.
People who lean are often dissatisfied with what they have or who they are and constantly console themselves. They can live in the existential, giving time to other worldly happenings, and concepts of unity and limitlessness; which serves them rather than others. They use methods such as these for detachment, to break away. They might also use you as a means to lift them up. But in the process of leaning, they trash their emotional balance. They exist at the fine edge of that balance and their ability to control. They may control by giving orders, unwanted advice or applying their feelings and energy into your life. But one adverse condition- a casual remark, a small setback and their energy collapses.
As they leaned psychologically and emotionally, they fall psychologically and emotionally flat on their faces. To avoid being this individual we must learn to cultivate and consolidate our power, by disciplining ourselves not to lean. When you lean psychologically or emotionally on people or toward them, it's a sure sign of insecurity. It makes others feel uncomfortable. People can resent the weight you're laying on them, and they will react by denying you. They won't like your feeding off their energy, or your self indulgence for that matter. Consciously and subliminally, they sense the weakness your leaning creates. It robs them of energy and crowds them; they have to buy into your needs and emotions when they would prefer to concentrate on their own. And this is the loss of personal power. When we over reach our boundaries, outside the natural state of what is ideal and lean into others to direct, order, request or control. Usually the order is thought, word, action. But in consciousness the behavior manifests and in consciousness it must be corrected.
Most people talk too much, and what they do say is often just noise, irrelevant gibberish designed to keep themselves entertained. To consolidate power learn to become aware of your need to talk. Make it a discipline not to discuss your personal details and judgments with others. A powerful person does not waste words. Even if they wish to give constructive criticism they choose their words wisely, knowing the consequences of interference. When we speak too soon, and believe we know best we are demonstrating our need to be validated, to feel. The feeling is dependent on the exchange of energy coming back from the other person. Again, this is leaning.
Trying to talk above people is trying to make them feel inferior, pushing yourself onto them. And we get a sense of correctness and find our place from telling others what we believe we know. This is a horrible way to find any sense of self and is anti life in essence. We find placement through what we identify as improper or wrong in others. Whether in faith, words or action, when we place our dominant energy on others to steer (control) what we believe is wrong, we are actually showing how desperate we are and are energetically hooking up to them. Once we get enough feedback, and get our fill we find our sense of self, in the distorted negative spacing that is the illusion of better or worse between two people. When we dominate with words, and try to talk above others we are actually being combative. Sages don't need to combat. You don't need to feel anything about yourself by seeing yourself as right or opposite from anyone or anything.
The Tao says, " To speak when one does not know is a disease." If you think about this with a view of health that is truly wholistic you will understand what the sages meant. Tao also teaches that " Those who know do not speak; those who speak do not know." There is a difference between conceptual knowledge and living wisdom. While one person may talk while losing and needing energy, you can maintain a quiet and joyful mind maintaining integrity by not letting the howling wind outside of you blow out the bright flame within you. True knowing is demonstrated by action, not by speaking. Real power is silent, patient as it allows things to fall into place exactly as they are knowing the purpose of what is. When we can't accept what is we direct, we suggest, we control because we cannot deal with uncertainty. And all of this, this kind of talk and behavior is purely out of ego. People who talk out of ego do so to hear themselves speak. They are not actually interested in what you have to say. This can be quickly proven because anything you say will be redirected against you as if you know nothing of what you speak. But do not speak, reserve your power.
Silent talking is a masterful art and comes when one learns to listen. It is learning to silence the mind and take in the experience beyond the duality our mind creates or the leaning our emotions desire. We can learn to accept exactly what is and give our energy to support that process. Anything less than this is a form of vampirism. We can learn to cultivate a silent mind, creating a solid stance for ourselves. This is like creating a technique. If we do not have a solid stance, any movement we make beyond that is weak. When we give our energy to others consciouly, it is not a means of outdoing, subduing the individual but for uplifting them. Only after the issue of technique is addressed can the true person emerge. Long cultivation is necessary in order to become honest and aware in every interaction. But eventually, all methods are absorbed. Then technique falls away, leaving the true person- present at his or her most human.